The Dark Knight

I watched the new Batman movie at the cinema yesterday. It was very good. I like the route they are taking the Batman movies. Before they were comical, with people like Danny Devito playing the penguin. Now they are gritty and realistic (as far as a super-hero movie can be). This was one of the first hero movies I have seen where I didn't know whether good would triumph or not. Normally you expect people to be saved. Here I wasn't sure.

I try to avoid idolization of people. It is common to indulge in unfounded adulation of stars, especially post-humously. I am not a fan of this. But I stayed after the movie finished to read the dedication to Heath Ledger that was obviously coming because he seems to have achieved something with this role. I haven't seen many of his movies, but he proved himself an actor in this one. A dedicated performance that by all accounts was responsible in part for his departure. It is amazing what having actors in a movie can do for it. I mean this as opposed to stars. Christian Bale is also what I would call an actor. He involves himself in roles...becomes the part. Look at the Machinist for an example. Didn't enjoy the movie but you can't say he didn't sacrifice for the role. Anyway, I felt a certain amount of appreciation. A man gave his life to a character and gave a wonderful performance that brought pleasure to many. I wonder if the Joker will ever be resurrected with such dramatic effect again. I pity the actor who must carry the mantle.

Nandemo-ation

The Olympics have started. Something I can watch on TV. It doesn't matter if I understand it or not. Mainly Judo and swimming on here. The strange thing is, when I look on the net for medal winners, I am checking the Japan team first. Don't think I could name a single member of the Great Britain team. When did I become Japanese? The Japanese have more medals than the Brits at the moment. Think I will stay on their side. Always nice to win.

I don't like the Olympics that much. Too chaotic and random. God knows when any of the events are. And there are thousands of categories in each event anyway. Can't keep up. Just watch it if it is on but can't see the big picture. It clashes with the high school baseball here. It is a big event. Iizuka made it to through the regionals this year. Went out in the first round to an Okinawan team in the All-Japan section of the tournament. Still they did well to get there.

My student keeps complaining about the Olympics. Thinks it should have been cancelled because of the earthquake. Of course it was a tragedy. But they do seem to happen somewhere everyday. I don't think postponing the Olympics would have helped. But to be honest I think she is only saying it because she heard someone else say it. Her argument was weak when I pressured it. Confrontation is the best way to encourage conversation I have found. Conversation dies when you all agree. So I tend to be antagonistic on purpose whether I believe what I am saying or not. Not in a nasty way. Although the temptation is there. Just enough to force opinions out. Harder than you think in Japan.

What does PM stand for?

Drove to Kitakyushu today. I was relaxed. It has been a while since I felt that way. Was confident that nothing bad would happen. Lost my centre when Rieko called. She wanted to go to dinner with some of her family. Restaurants don't sit well with me. No control. The meal was tough and I ate little. But I survived. I nearly left early...but I survived.

Afterwards we played Mahjong. It was fun even though I lost badly. It is rare I will say that. Haruka's boyfriend played too. He is a difficult guy to understand. Very quiet. He never speaks. But he seems nice enough. Am testing out sentence structures. Another means of amusement. Very James Joyce Virginia Woolf. Modernists. Stream of consciousness. Who would have thought you might find Post-Modernism here.

The lengths we will go to

Decided to change the blog. Green isn't my colour. I like blue. I tidied it up to boot. Took off all the poker ads for places that don't serve a purpose other than making my blog run slow. Dumped most of the networking crap aswell. Never got me any readers so can't be doing with the mess it makes on the blog.

Been a experience this week. Having to find ways to amuse myself. Rieko is leaving before me and coming home after me now since she started working in Nakama. It's about an hours drive away. Means my plate is a lot fuller. Finishing work then riding the bike home. Then have to walk to Grannies to get the dog. Then start the dinner ready for Rieko when she gets back at about 10. Our days off rarely land together now too. I am suffering from lack of 'unforced' communication. I don't count talking to students as anything other than a chore. They are boring me at the moment. Try being forced to talk to some ageing woman every week for an hour with no escape. I know more about her than she does and still have to think up mundane questions to ask them to try and keep the conversation going for an hour. Have taken to swapping their heads in my mind. Sometimes I add a pig. It suits them. Other times I imagine headbutting them. I pity them as much as whoever reads this pities me.

Have you ever tried not communicating with anyone for a week? It is amazing the things your brain will do to compensate. The cockroaches are welcome. They might not acknowledge me when I see them, but at least my words have a target. Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness they say. I can't wait.

A new venture

In follow up to the previous post I have decided to start a painting service which I have named MaronMinis.

I bashed up a quick little website over the past couple of days and am in the process of translating it to Japanese with Riekos help.

Have a look at the site and tell me what you think or if anything needs changing.

The Nerd in me

When I think about my time at school and even until this day, the one thing that stands out most to me is that I was never completely part of any of the 'groups' of people. I seemed to be a bit of everything. I am still the same to this day. I like the 'cooler' things in life such as sports and music, I am fascinated with the intellectual side of life and love to learn new things, am also in touch with the artistic and always loved drawing and painting, and even enjoy ther nerdier side of life like computers and toy soldiers.

Until recently the cool side of my personality has always been embarrassed and ashamed of the geek in me but I am going to bear all for the world to see in an attempt at banishing that negativity for ever. I guess sometimes it comes to the point of just not giving a flying **** about what other people think and embracing everything it is to be you.

Ever since I was younger I have loved wargames and little toy soldiers. Lately I have become more interested in taking the hobby further and really improving my painting skills. I have been impressed with some of the results I have been getting but am still well away from the level some people display.

These models are about 28mm in size so are small to say the least and it takes me a long time to paint one to a half decent standard. They normally start out as metal models that require cleaning, priming and then painting. It can take upwards of 20 hours to paint one model and some pros can spend over 60 on a single figure.

Anyway I thought I would put up a few of the models I have painted recently to show what I have been doing. However these are nothing compared to the things you can find on sites like this. I will add a work in progress shot too so you can see the change the models go through. This is the order in which I painted these models from oldest to newest. One day they will probably go on ebay as they tend to make a huge profit if they are painted well. Hopefully if you click on an image it will be enlarged. If not there is a link under each picture to photobucket. Hope you enjoy.

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Online Casino Blues

One of my online friends, Earl aka Skinski, has set up a new portal bringing all the best deals on Casino sign-up bonuses and ways to make a buck off of the casinos. The site is called Online Casino Blues and is the partner site to The House Of Poker Blues.

There are some great deals on the site and I already signed up through one casino to get 10GBP free and managed to turn that into 140GBP playing Blackjack. That is only one of the deals from one of the casinos; others have deals such as $500 free for an hour and you get to keep your profit after the time is up.

Whether you intend to deposit or not there is no loss by signing up to a few and taking advantage of the bonuses they offer. Check out the site.

Poker?!?

It has been a long time since I have posted anything about poker on this blog and it took a win to get me to do so.

Over at the House of Poker Blues Forum we were given a freeroll at Carbon Poker by skinski the boss over at the forum. The cards ran well for me today and after a monstrous heads up with YellowRoses I managed to get lucky on the river in a vital hand where she had me crushed after the flop came 10 x A and I had the 10 and she the A. Luckily I hit a King on the river to take the pot with 2 pair and then had a big chip lead. Up until that point it had swung back and forwards for a fair old time.


Skinski often holds freerolls for contributing members so anyone who wants in on the action needs to get over to the forum and start putting up some decent posts to be ready for the next one. Thanks to Earl for this one and see you at the next.

Other than that I started playing a few NL ring games the other day. Only in the 2/4 cent limit to get me back into the swing of things. Managed to double my funds in 30 minutes so might play that for a while and see if I can't raise my bankroll enough to start playing the higher limits and earn a bit more cash.

Anyway thanks to all in the game today. It was good fun and hope to see some new faces there next time after they become members of the forum.

A generous Queen?

I came across this in the news today and it provoked a few thoughts: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080513/ten-myanmar-weather-cyclone-britain-aid-a56114e.html

As I was reading it a number of thoughts came to mind:

• Did the Queen really decide to give a personal donation or is it PR?
• Where does the Queen get her money from anyway? I always thought she was kept in pocket from taxpayers loot.
• If she did decide to give to the disaster, why is there a need to trumpet her benevolence across the internet?
• The British government have pledged 5 million to the cause...where does this come from?

I am going to try a throw away my cynical nature for now and assume the Queen actually decided it would be a nice thing to do and was the instigator in the donation. This leads me to wonder why there is such a need for these types of things to be glorified by the media.

Princess Diana was a prime example of this in my opinion. Before she died, the media were continually on her case with criticisms and mockery and I remember the general feeling of the country to be one of disinterested amusement. But after she died she was instantly a shining example of selflessness and everywhere you looked there was a picture of her beside a dying childs bed. I expect she was a caring and giving person who did her most to help those she could but her actions seem to be amplified by the fact that she was a celebrity. In fact everything is obsessed wih celebrity nowadays.

In reality the Queen is not a poor lady and giving even a "significant" personal donation is a small sacrifice compared to the people who are doing the real work trying to keep these people from starving to death or dying from a contagious disease. Yet their stories are not plastered over the internet in an attempt to boost public opinion of a faltering tradition. Aside from my mistrust of motive on the Queens part the only reason I can think of for the fact that this has been publicy declared as if she deserves our thanks is that it may serve to raise some public awareness of the situation, but my bet is still on the PR.

One other thing I wondered was the last point I made about the government giving 5 million and where it came from. Now this is a general query without any bias attached. Is there a set amount allocated for international emergencies at the beginning of each financial year? Does the Chancellor list it in his budget?

If so, how do they decide the amount to allocate from said budget to each crisis? Say for example they put aside 15 million for the year. They decide to give 5 million to this and then there isn't another major disaster for the rest of the year. Does the money get reallocated so the next year there is 25 million? Or could they offset the balance and only add 5 million to it to get it back to the original 15 million?

Or what about the reverse situation...the government allocated its relief funds in total and then there is a major disaster...do those people go short because their disaster was at the wrong time of year?

I am aware I have drastically over simplified things here but you get my drift. Does anyone know how government funding for relief is handled?

Anyway, my point for this post was that each time I see someone being lauded as a saviour of mankind because of their celebrity status and a token gesture I just think...so? Admittedly it is better to use that status for good than to waste it is a sea of drugs and indulgence but...so? I feel for the thousands who do more than their share on a daily basis, who clean up the crap and vomit of recovering drug addicts, who give will give the last fiver in their wallet to the homeless guy on the street, who dedicate their lives to aiding those who need help, but who never get a mention.

The Trip Part 1 - Getting to Europe

I did a little bit of the video editing tonight and came up with a five minute excerpt of our trip.

This is before we ever get to Europe and is part of our journey from Iizuka, our home town, to Kansai Airport in Osaka.

I am extremely averse to flying...I hate it. So most people would fly from Fukuoka Aiport (an hour from us) to Osaka and then just take another flight from Osaka to London. But since I really don't like to fly we had to catch a train up late the night before we were to fly and then stay in a hotel overnight before catching the plane at 10 the next morning.

DISCLAIMER:

As stated I am a terrible flyer. Whilst this may be so, I do not wish that to be used as an excuse for my behaviour in the latter half of the video...I am one grumpy badger. I was so focused on my impending doom on the airplane I was getting frustrated with Rieko sticking the video camera up my nose every 5 minutes for a comment. There is also some foul language which slips out near the beginning so I guess this must be rated at least a 15 and over video clip...

Hope you enjoy...they will get more interesting as the trip progresses...I hope!

Getting ready to go

Tomorrow Rieko and I are beginning our long journey back home to the UK for a couple of weeks with an added stop over in Paris for a few days. It should be good once we get there but I really dislike flying so am not looking forward to the 12 hour journey at all.

We bought a new video camera to take with us and it arrived this morning so I have been playing around with it today to see if I can make any videos. I want to serialise our trip when we get back in short video excerpts over the next month or two so I made a tester video today.

The quality is really reduced when you change it for internet viewing. Anyway here it is.



If anyone watches it can you leave a comment as to how quick it streamed for you and whether it was smooth or stuttering as I need to work out what size of movie is good.

Beefcake...BEEFCAKE

Since it has been over 3 months since I last posted anything I doubt there are too many readers still around but I felt like posting today for the first time in a long while. Maybe the winter does that to me...it is a real motivation killer.

But the birds are singing, the air smells good, and spring is here in full bloom (not quite but maybe next week).

So what to write about? I am going to go with something I have found some inspiration from and has given me an idea for a future venture when times are more settled. It centres around dreams and goals and is the reason for the title of the post for who can forget Cartman's most classic line "Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals. I'm living proof. Beefcake...BEEFCAAAAAAKE!".

When I was a kid I always wanted to be a vet. We have always lived with animals and I was brought up to appreciate nature. I held that dream of being a vet all the way up until I had to make the choices for my A-levels and was struggling with illness at that time. I was able to attend barely half my classes and needed to get 3 subjects at A to get into vet school. I just knew I couldn't do that only getting in to half my classes and studying myself the rest of the time so I opted for subjects that were covered grey areas instead of fact and hence ended up at University studying English Literature where anything goes as long as you can back it up with some evidence.

Now I am still stuck teaching English and it seems that it is in conflict with the voice without words that tells me how to feel inside. So I have thought about forwarding my life to a more peaceful place by rekindling my dreams of working with animals. I am going to start up a couple of courses in animal psychology and behaviour with the intention of becoming a freelance behaviour therapist/trainer in my spare time and should I ever end up with some land in my name a dog home for all those poor buggers who end up in the gas chamber because no-one has the time or patience to give them the life they deserve.

Anyway in advance of these course I thought I would do some pre-reading and ordered a book from Amazon by a guy called Cesar Millan. Now I had never heard of this guy but it turns out he is quite a celebrity in the US. However, celeb or not he talks a lot of sense and has had an amazing life and is a great role model for anyone looking to follow and achieve their dreams.

He talks a lot about pack psychology and leadership roles in the dog world and approaches dogs behaviour problems from a natural perspective. I read the book in a day and have been working with Maron, my dog, since then and have made some major advances in her behaviour and general temperament. If I am honest I spent a long time training her when she was a real little 'un using clicker training, a method pioneered by Karen Pryor that consists of using a clicker to mark events of positive behaviour which are then rewarded with treats to reinforce the behaviour. This is a 100% positive method of training and there is no correction. I had good success with this and by 3 or 4 months Maron was responding to sit, down and high five commands. However this book by Cesar Millan has given me a whole new perspective on relating to the dog and it has struck me there is a BIG difference between conditioning and behaviour. Clicker training is about conditioning a dog to respond to a command, whereas understanding dog behaviour and psychology is the key to having a well balanced pet.

In addition to a very sensible and natural approach to relating to dogs he also is a great example of someone who has pursued a dream until fulfillment and is now walking the path for which he was destined. He grew up on a farm in Mexico with not much in the way of provisions and worked his way to being the personal dog expert for people such as Will Smith and Oprah Winfrey. Very inspiring.

Anyway, the post is getting long so I will leave it here and just say for anyone looking to relate to their dog on a more natural and primal level this guy talks a lot of sense and I recommend having a look at his books and I think he has some dvds and stars in a National Geographic show too.

Unlock Me

It is a strange thing but Chritmas is a time of mixed emotions for me and I often get a lot of soul-searching urges during the festive season. In japan as I maybe posted last year, Christmas is a time for couples and there is no real celebration. Everyone goes to work as normal and for me it is a huge nonevent.

When I was younger I remember being excited for days before the big day. Now it is almost Christmas Eve and I don't have so much as a tingle. I know this year I will be spending it with Rieko and Maron but in my mind Christmas has always been more of a family celebration where people would come back home from wherever they were in the world for a couple of days of eating and self-indulgent behaviour. And, even though Rie and her family do their best to make me feel good, it just isn't the same.

So todays song. I am not certain the idea behind it but I interpret the words as they apply to me and I think anyone who has ever felt lost or tormented in their identity or peace will relate to the words. But this song for me is one that needs to be heard to be felt as the way it is sung and the sound of the song is what makes it more haunting I think. I will try and set up the radio-blog software on the site again and then I can maybe upload the songs as I write about them.

Unlock Me

You hand me a bunch of keys and said lets look through the past
You know I like to please, but all I ask
Is which one, wooooa which one
Unlocks me

The first key opens a garden gate where I play in the sun
Under the trees a shadow grows dark and I want to run
Does this one, wooooa does this one
Unlock me

You look around there's noone there, you say somethings wrong
What is it that I've got to hide. then we move on

The next key opens the old front door, daylight shines in the hall
I hear a voice I'm trying to hide, pressed up against the wall
Does this one, wooooa does this one
Unlock me

We enter a room at the top of the stairs, I hide under the bed
My hand touches a small wooden box with my name written in red
I open the box there's nothing inside, you say somethings wrong
What is it that I've got to hide. unlock me

I'm not speaking to you anymore, I throw your keys at your feet
Down the stairs to the front door I open the gate to the street
Where someone, please someone, unlock me

Unlock me
Unlock me
Unlock me

Country Folk

I mentioned one of my favourite bands, Show of Hands, a few posts back. Being that they are from my neck of the woods their songs are quite close to home when I listen to the lyrics.

So I though I would put some of the lyrics up and comment on them. For no particular reason I chose to do a song called Red Diesel first as I heard it while I was walking the dog this morning and it brought back some memories. Anyway here are the words:

Red Diesel

Terry always puts red diesel in his tank
He'd rather get paid in cash than kind
Keeps his money in his pocket and never in a bank
Terry writes all his records in his mind
He's got a still in the back of his shed
He'll brew you up some vintage country wine
Just half a glass could raise the dead
I like to think Terry is a friend of mine
I like to think Terry is a friend

He's never seen a car he could not mend
His yard is full of his machines
One night in the dark I didn't make the bend
And Terry was the first one on the scene
With hands as rough as a farm dogs paw
His fingers grip yours as tight as a wrench
Later in the bar said there ought to be a law
Keeping out the yuppies and the grockles and the French

Terry will hold the line
Terry would never run
In uniform he's a hero
On the terraces he's scum

Six years in the army five months in jail
Four years on the road driving bands
Says he sang a folk song once but he didn't inhale
And what do townies know about living on the land

That's why he always puts red diesel in his tank
And he'd rather be paid in cash and kind
Keeps his money in his pocket never in a bank
I like to think Terry is a friend of mine
We all like to think Terry is a friend
I like to think Terry is a friend



Good song. It reminds me of a time when I was a little lad and I used to go up to the Forest of Dean with my dad to help with the shoot. I had to walk through the woods making noise to flush out the pheasants. Anyway, my family moved into the real countryside when I was about 5 or 6 I think so we weren't born and bred country folk but some of the guys on this shoot were the real deal and this song reminds me of some of them. At the start of the morning before the shoot got off they would bring out a bottle of Sloe gin for everyone to have a swig of. I can't rightly remember whether it was a home brew or not but to me it was ghastly stuff.

The line in the song about hands rough as a dogs paw rings true aswell. Maybe it was because I was only a young lad but some of those guys had huge hands that were tough as leather from working outside all the time. They were tough as nails as well. I remember one guy chopped of his toes with a lawnmower and was affectionately know as Chris 'no toes'. He had a couple of Springer Spaniels who used to help flush out the birds.

I always used to find it a real tough and long day and most of the time it was in winter so was cold as hell. My circulation is bad at the best of times but when you are up in the hills for hours on end in the middle of winter you lost the feeling in your hands and feet real quick. Then as a beater you got to go through the woods bashing your stick on trees...it used to hurt like crap. I remember wishing lunchtime would come as quick as possible so I could get my hands around a cup of hot tea.

At the beginning of the day there would be a sweepstake for how many birds we would get and the closest at the end of the day would get the kitty. It used to go up to around 20 quid. When you are just a little lad that is a heck of a lot of money. I remember I only ever won that once and even then I think I was tied so split it. I don't remember what I spent it on but trying to win it each time is one of my clearest memories of the shoot.

We even got our black labrador up there for a while as a retriever for my dad. But then she got epilepsy and we couldn't take her after that. But she had a blast up there running around chasing down birds. I think Maron would be in her element if there was something like that around here now. That dog loves to run and with the Japanese law prohibiting dogs from being off their leash and not much open space for them to run she doesn't get to let her legs go too often. But when she does there is some kind of pure joy on her face. She jumps around like a crazy teenager smacked of her face on ecstasy.

Anyway, enough of the reminiscing for one day. Show of Hands have a lot of good songs on all sorts of topics so I shall put a few more up and add my thoughts to those too sometime in the future.

Smorty

Thanks to a post over on a friends blog I came accross a new site that helps bloggers get rewarded for spending their time posting about their lives. Smorty is a site whereby you can get paid to blog through blog advertising. The best thing about this particular site however is that they pay you weekly so there are no month long waits to get you money.

They recruit advertisers who wish to advertise on blogs and then offer opportunities to those bloggers who want to get paid to blog. Depending on the level of your blog you can receive varying amounts for each post you place. There are many different opportunities for people so you are more than likely able to find an opportunity that fits in with your blog so that you don't have to really compromise the integrity your site. Luckily for me the topic of my blog is 'life' and since getting by is part of life I am happy to post about most topics that don't interfere with my moral opinions.

Making a few bucks here and there by blogging for money helps me to get the little things that help with the day to day stresses. A couple of posts will get me a new book or give me enough to put some credit on my Skype account so I can call home or friends every now and then. To me this is enough of a reward to let my blog become a partial advertising board as and when an opportunity arises.

So if you have a blog and feel like using it in a way to earn some cash then it would be well worth your while to have a look at the Smorty homepage and check out what they can offer.

Bits

One of my favourite bands in the past year or two has been Show of Hands. They are an English folk group made up of two talented musicians called Steve Knightly and Phil Beer. Steve Knightly writes most of their songs and being from the South West of England (where I grew up for most of my life) his lyrics really hit the nail on the head sometimes when talking about country living.

Anyway I am on the mailing list for the band and recently a mail came out saying that Steve's 6 year old son had contracted a form of leukemia and so he won't be joining the tour of England. It is a real shame to hear such a young lad has been inflicted by something so immense so my thoughts go out to Steve and his family. I hope they find the strength to overcome the illness and take hope from the fact that the particular type of cancer his son has is often curable.

On the poker front, this weekend has more 5th Street League games and with the remergence of Per onto the 5th Street forum I am hoping that he will join the games and make them just that little bit bigger. Having said that I am not 100% whether I can play this one or not as I might be out. But if I am not there, good luck to all those who play.

Pro360.com

It has been a while since I have done any reviews but I found a site that fits with my blog.

Pro360.com is online casino/poker room review site that goes into great depth about the different casino sites and sets out all the pros and cons in an easy to read comparison table.

The section on Poker tells you whether US players are welcome, the gaming commission that regulates the site, max amount of bonus along with editor and player ratings and an in depth review of any of the sites on the table. The site covers a large amount of casinos and poker rooms so you are sure to find the thing you are looking for.

Just as you can check for poker specifically, all the other games are there to search for by themselves including Blackjack, Craps, Roulette, Baccarat, Backgammon and Sports Betting. If you have 5 minutes why not check out the site.

The Dynamics of Relationships

Whenever I allow myself time to fall into a contemplatative frame of mind a consciously examine the day to day interactions I have with other people, it often surprises me how complex and essentially distant these exchanges are. This is also true of the dialogues that other people create between each other. Whilst in recent posts I have intimated that I am not a people person, I do find a lot of pleasure in people watching. The best places I have found are ones where people have many distractions and temptations such as department stores and shopping malls.

Before I go into my commentary I must make the disclaimer that I am as fallible as the next person and only use other people as a means for expressing my point because they are much easier to analyse than myself.

Anyway it strikes me that for the majority of the time people are on what I would call autopilot. They exist and perform action but rely on something unconscious to guide them through the swamps of life and trials of interaction. Now to me this is interesting. I know that often the best way to go about things is often a matter of logical thinking and constructive analysis but I believe these things are conscious procedures...so by what criteria are we making most of our decisions if we are running on autopilot?

An example is yesterday. I had an urge in me to buy something yesterday. I didn't really care what, I just wanted to spend some money. Every Christmas I get books from my parents. I order a stack of them that usually keep me going for 6 months. Anyway some of these books recently arrived and are waiting to be wrapped by Rieko to surprise me on Christmas Day. Yet I found myself standing in the bookshop yesterday about to buy a book without thinking about it. In the end logic won out and I put the book back and decided to read one of the books I already had but had never started.

This is a simple example. But for me in relationships it is way more interesting. Conversation is also a mainly unconscious process otherwise it would take far too long. It is rare I will think for the exact words before I say them. So I wonder what it is that makes us say those antagonistic or cruel or sly or cheeky etc things when if we were to analyze pre-voice...we wouldn't want to say them? Are the bullets of our dialogues preloaded by our recent experiences? Are we really the people we think we are if we approach it from a conscious angle or are we really alien to ourselves? The conscious and unconscious seem to be at odds with each other in a lot of situations so where does the idea of who you are reside?

When I analyze the conversations of actions of those around me I think it is sometimes petty and childish. Yet when I am not aware consciously of what I am doing am I any different...

Beowulf

Not much to say but I wanted to say something so will post about my day. We decided to go and see a movie and when we checked out the schedule at the movie theater it was between The Bourne Ultimatum and Beowulf. I am personally a great fan of epic historic films such as Troy, Braveheart, King Arthur, Gladiator and Alexander to name a few. Movies that portray combat with honour and valour not like the type of warfare that is prevalent now where technology is normally key in deciding the victor.


Anyway, just recently I have been a bit more interested in the heritage and ancestry of the UK and have learnt alot about the Jutes, Danes and Germanic peoples that invaded and conquered all through the north and east through to the kingdom of Wessex. I don't know how to trace my ancestry but I would be very interested to find out where my roots lie. I have read a few books by a guy called Tim Severin regarding the Danish invaders and also some fiction by Bernard Cornwell on a similar subject matter. So when I saw the choices at the cinema I decided to go for Beowulf as it is one of the famous Danish legends.

So Rieko and I sit down to watch the movie and the opening scene kicks off and I realise something doesn't look right. 20 or 30 seconds in I catch on that it is an animated movie. I mentioned it to Rieko a few minutes later and she hadn't even realised then. It was one of the most realistic animated movies I have ever seen and at times you would be hard pushed to tell. Anthony Hopkins and Angelina Jolie are spot on in their resemblance to the real thing. If you don't fancy the theme of the movie I would recommend getting the dvd anyway just to see how far these technologies have come on in the past 10 years...it is truly amazing what people can do with a computer nowadays. My younger brother is in the 3d animation business so in a few years I expect to be seeing his name in the credits of something like that (check out his website for a clip of one of his short films).

Poker update

As the title of the blog says...this is about Life and Poker in Japan.

When I started the blog it was 99% poker related posts. I was playing everyday and logging my results. However I really don't play that much poker anymore so that side of things has slowly been disappearing from the blog. I don't know whether this is a good thing or not for my few readers but the fact of the matter is that poker has ceased to be the fun it was so I don't play anymore.

Personality is in my opinion one of the most crucial aspects of playing poker long term. And my personality is just not suited to it. As a bit of entertainment on the side I will play every now and then. I play the 5th Street games with Earl from The House of Poker and the family game when it is on but I have decided that when my bankroll runs out by playing in those games then I won't be redepositing unless I really get a major urge to play again.

So for the meantime this blog will be more focused on the Life side of things.

紅葉 The leaves are changing

The weather was great today. The sun was out and it was about 20 degrees so Rieko, Maron and I headed up to a mountain near us called Fukuchiyama to have a look at the trees changing their leaves. The trees in the mountains are a mix of deciduous and evergreen so there are some amazing colours to be seen. I think there are alot of Japanese Maples which produce some amazingly vibrant red leaves...check out these photos:

Rieko and Maron

This Japanese Maple had incredible colour on it.

The three of us

I like this shot as it shows the contrasts in the tree colours...red, green and yellow

The Beast

After we were done checking out the leaves I persuaded Rieko to come snake hunting with me in the forest. We didn't find any but it was good fun anyway. It really made a difference to my state of mind to get out there and away from home.

Spot the snake....

Chameleon

I have been hanging around in Japan for about 4 years now and throughout that time the thing I have learnt to do the most is change my skin in the space of a minute.

It sounds like a deceitful thing but I don't mean it to be that way. In any day I am faced with an array of students ranging from 3 year olds to 60 year olds. They are from all walks of life and all have their own approach and reasons for studying English.

At first I was very rigid in my delivery of the lessons and followed a strict plan. However as time has passed I have become more adept at reading the situation and adjusting my personality to fit the student. In effect I have become a great chameleon. One second I can be a child playing games, the next an intellectual debater and the next a chatting housewife. It is scary sometimes how easy it is to pretend to be something you are not...for if I were to display my true feelings and personality to the students I think I would be out of a job because 90% of the time I wish they would phone up and cancel their lessons.

In Japan, job opportunities are very restricted for foreigners so it is my lot in life at present to be a teacher. But I know inside I am not a people person. Most people piss me off if I am honest about it. But we all do what we need to do to get by day by day and for me at the moment it means being a chameleon and giving the students the person they want to meet. But I can't see this as being my career for the next 30 or 40 years which leaves me wondering where I go from here in terms of work. ..

Wedding Photos

I have been waiting and waiting for our photos to come through from the photographer but they are still not here so I am going to use some of the ones I have from friends and family.

Our wedding already seems so far in the distant past and we are settled into a new routine with the two of us (three if you count maron) getting used to each others habits. The only problem we have now is with winter approaching and the temperatures dropping...who gets to drive the car and who ends up on the scooter...

Nothing much

It has been so long since I have posted anything I think I have forgotten how to do it!!

Well the wedding is done and dusted with as is the honeymoon and I am firmly back into the old routine of work. It is different having Rieko live with me and we are still finding our feet when it comes to various things but we will get there without too much trouble I think.

The wedding was great and I am grateful to all the family who came over. They made it a real special occasion for me. However I don't want to do a 'wedding' post until after we get our photos through. I don't know when that will be but I am hoping it shouldn't be too long.

So what to write about...

I suppose October 1st was a big occasion as it was the first ever Wade family live game. We have battled it out on the cyber-felt for a while now but that was the first time we have really sat down for a live game. 6 players....1 winner and it wasn't me. Congratulations to Matt aka Da Git for beating me in the heads up with a king on the river and taking down the 6000 yen prize!

It feels strange to be writing again but I am sure as time passes I will get back into the swing of it. Stay tuned for a wedding post in the near future...hopefully.

Rummy

Thanks to Earl bringing it up in the forum I have recently learnt how to play Rummy (more specifically Gin Rummy at the moment) and am enjoying the change of pace and stress from poker.

Earl found a site and posted it on the 5th Street Forum and I went over and had a look and after reading the rules I gave it a go on some play money tables and so far am in profit. I am not certain I want to go down the route of playing for money yet as I think it may then lose some of the fun so am just going to play it for the game itself.

I only learnt how to play two days ago so the rules are still settling in and the tactics are yet to come. From what I have seen it looks like a game of keen observation and a dash of luck. But it is fun learning a new game and eventually I will move on to the traditional runny and kaluki (?) versions.

I just got back from the soon to be in-laws for dinner and I got out a pack of cards and taught them how to play and we had a good time messing around with the game. A couple of times I didn't know what to do with regards to scoring but we just made it up as we went along. For example after someone knocks and two people have the same amount of deadwood for second then who is actually second. I also didn't know how to work out the scores properly but we still had fun with our own rules.

Anyway, it makes a nice change to play some cards and enjoy it again as poker was beginning to become more of a challenge to play in terms of motivation.

Limbo

I was listening to a Chris Daughtry song and heard the line "I'm going home to the place where I belong" and it struck a chord with me. I think most people who have made the decision to live large parts of their lives in very different cultures will tell you that there is a strange feeling of dislocation and a distinct lack of belonging.

When I was studying for my degree I wrote an essay on a novel by V.S. Naipaul who was an Indian who was a victim of the process of colonialisation; a by product of the British Empire. In his novel he spoke of the state of limbo one ends up in through this process of cultural transition. You can never truely assimilate to the new culture and can never return to the old one fully. In essence you exist in a space between the two countries and never find the state of belonging most people associate with the word home.

I feel I am there to a point. When I think of the word home, I know my birth home is England, my physical home is Japan, and my spiritual home has yet to be discovered. But I cannot truely say there is a place where I actually belong now. The old cliche of the grass being greener on the other side, whilst not entirely true, has its merits. I think the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side, but it is green in different places and finding this out means that wherever you are in the world you will always be at odds with which part of your lawn you want to be the greenest and this will determine what you do and where you are at each point in your life. For now, although I can't say I feel I truely belong in Japan and there are so many things I wish I could change, Rieko is my green grass and I want her to feature in my lawn and so I will stay here.

The paradox of memory, its curse and blessing, means I will maybe never really find that place that is known as home until I learn to read the depths of my emotions and spirit and find the treasure that exists within myself that leaves all external factors obselete. Maybe the answer to the question 'where is home?' can only be answered when you are comfortable in your own skin and not bound by your own limitations.

The Voice

Lots to say but no motivation to arrange the thoughts into coherant passages so the posts are few and far between.

I think there are rumblings in the volcano inside me that are either precursors to an eruption or just reminders that there is alot of pent up emotion stuck down there that needs a bit of attention. Feeling a bit reckless and destructive...normally end up causing more problems for myself when I get this way so will just have to wait and see which way it goes.

Think I might watch Al Gore's movie to direct some of my anger and feed the feelings of futility...what can be more futile than our relentless destruction of our own inhabitat. Even a dog won't shit in its own den...says alot about us doesn't it.

By the way, I watched Dreamgirls last night as I thought it would be nice for Rieko...AVOID at all costs. The most boring and uneventful movie I have seen in years.

A question for those who know

I have decided to try and pick up some blues harmonica. I have messed around with a few harps before but never made it far. Managed to get a bend of the 4 note but never really grasped any blues licks and had a real time of it trying to play single notes and then doubles or triples after let alone tongue blocking...

So we are going back to it and I am going to search a few sites to see if I can't find some free instruction pages on the net but in the meantime I was after recommendations for some people I should be listening to to pick up on some technique. I know both Earl and my dad are both readers here and both are blues fans too so have either of you two got any tips and hints for the great blues harp players?

The day finally came...

I have seen it happen to a few people from the forum and finally today the day came where I played poker and didn't enjoy it even a bit. The atmosphere at the table was unpleasant and the cards were worse. Had aces beaten by 10 / 8 offsuit after raising from second position with the bb calling with his wonder cards. The flop gave him a gutshot and my 3/4 pot bet wasn't enough to get him out. The turn gave him a pair of 10s and again 3/4 wasn't enough for him. And of course the river fills his gutshot upon which he bets out and I call.

It isn't necessarily the bad beats that have turned me off but the general attitude of the other players. They reinforce my assertion that 90% of the people in the world are assholes. I have had misguided racist comments hurled at me repeated times because it says my location is Japan (always from people in America unfortunately) and there is no reason for me to continue playing when I don't gain any pleasure from it.

I will continue with the family games as they are more about being able to interact with the family and will play in the 5th Street games too. Recently the interest in the forum games has really fizzled out. The saturday buy-in used to get 17 or more people regularly but now quite often I have signed up and it hasn't even run because there were no other players. I hope when the new leaderboard games are started up the interest will pick back up.

WARNING TO ALL WEDDING GOERS

As you should know by now if you are attending the wedding, there is a ceremony in the morning and then a reception around lunch time. Once this has finished we will be heading back from Fukuoka to Iizuka where there will be a few hours rest either at mine or Rie's families place and then we are off out for the second gathering somewhere in Iizuka (to be decided...) for a family only party.

It is the plan, in a very traditional Japanese way, to continue the celebrations after this party in a place that should bring a feeling of dread to all members of the Wade family...karaoke.

As a family we have many talents but singing was obviously an optional extra we decided to pass on when we were designing our DNA. We just don't sound good. However there will be an expectation for everyone to have a go and to rock out at least one tune. Hopefully enough alcohol will have been imbued for this to be a painless process but here are my tips for a successful karaoke song:

1. Don't sing a song by anyone who can sing (I once tried a Nickleback song and although you wouldn't think it just by listening to their stuff...the guy can sing well - I murdered the song!)

2. I recommend choosing songs that have few words and lots of instrumentals

3. If things seem impossible go for the comedy effect...MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" always goes down well.

4. I recommend songs by people such as Bob Dylan and Mark Knopfler as neither can sing are are pretty monotonous in their delivery...perfect for the likes of us.

Get your thinking caps on. I am taking "Sultans of Swing" and "Wild Thing" so noone else can do them. Am also hoping to make my debut with a Japanese song but need to work on that one a bit. Should be fun.

Back in the flesh

My word has it really been two weeks since I last posted.

Well since then we have decided the flowers for the wedding and chosen the style of the bouquet etc and we have also printed and sent out the remainder of the invitations to the Japanese residents.

The flower meeting was almost a no goer as I was sat in the $500 freeroll that Skinski put on when it came time to go. The place is and hour and a half away and our appointment was at 11am and I was doing well in the freeroll and didn't want to sit out and leave. So I had Rieko call up the place and change our appointment time. Unfortunately I didn't make the cash finishing two places off in 5th. My AQ came up against JJ. I hit an ace on the flop and felt good then came crashing down when one of the two remaining Jacks hit on the turn. Wasn't to be. I think if I had of doubled up then I would have easily cashed and could have gone on to win it but the powers that be decided against it.

Then in the family game that evening I played well by my own standards all game and finally in heads-up with my younger brother the same powers decided to let me hit a three outer on the river to take first place, reboosting my pride and adding a bit back into my bankroll.

I withdrew about 80% of my bankroll to go towards the wedding as there are some sneaky things they add in there when you ain't looking.

Being a foreigner I have to go to the British Embassy to get a certificate that states I am free to marry and not otherwise tied to anyone in England. But the British Embassy is in Tokyo and the Consulate in Osaka...add a 30000 yen train ticket to the costs. And then I check the internet to see how much the certificate is going to cost and low and behold it is another 30000 yen. I almost crapped my pants! For a piece of paper it probably takes them 2 minutes to print out! It seems it is the nature of people to take advantage of others in a situation they have no choice over. If I want to get married I have to get the certificate so why not charge an arm and a leg for it!

Anyway my beautifully crafted chicken sandwich I just made is calling so until next time...

Bet365

In my journey through online poker I often try out different sites to see what their software and promotions are like.

Bet365 is a total gambling experience. Not only do they have some nice poker software but they also operate Sports Betting, casino and online games. The nicest thing of all is that it operates a one wallet system so all your funds are in a central wallet and you can use them in any of the available forms of entertainment.

The poker promotions at the moment include a $500 match deposit bonus and entry into a $1000 freeroll for new players. They also have some incredible tournaments including a weekly $200000 guaranteed with a buy-in of just $60! There are also numerous daily freerolls for those on a tighter bankroll.

I will be opening an account and playing a few hands, and if I lose I will get it back on the horses.

This is a sponsored post.

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Strange day. Over the course of a few hours I saw some great stuff and some really bad stuff.

The Good : Walking the dog and as I came home, there is a big patch of shoulder high foilage in a small field next to my apartment. At this time of year there are lots of dragonflies around over the rice fields and they just fly around in random patterns. This time though there were also about 10 swallows flying in amonsgt them looking for a quick feed. I was able to walk into the middle of them and had swallows flying within arms reach in circular patterns chasing the dragon flies. It was a real wierd and nice experience.

The Bad : I then got home and Rieko was watching the TV. It was a show about some famous book I haven't heard of entitled 'If the world was 100 people' or something along those lines. It basically showcased some of the lives of people in third world countries like Africa and the Phillipines. One little 9 year old lad in Africa worked down a 15 metre hole about a metre in diameter digging for gold. Apparantly four kids that month had died from collapses but he had no choice as his dad had left and the family needed the income...about 40 yen a day...maybe 20p or 40 cents. Sad stuff.

The Ugly : The ugly was when I read a post on The House of Poker Blues about an Afghan kid who was videoed performing a beheading. Pure sick stuff. I actually go strange thinking about it. Horrific and barbaric. I suggest you read the post over there for more about it.